Thursday, February 24, 2011

Feel like strangling you..but that would mean my own death......

Gypsy f@$king Bastard......Can't you see I have lost words.....lost those throaty carefree laughters...lost how to write .....Idiot, it is time you wrote to me, time you touched me...time to tell me your address for the day, week, month......


Ha! Ha! Ha!
So this Gypsy who was once scolded for using the word " yaar" also swears!! Hahaha! Love this change! What were you told when you used " yaar" in your plus2? Don't use the language of " Bazaru Aurat". Doesn't the term mean kind of whore? Hahaha!
And what is this kind of language called? Hahaha! I am actually laughing. It is amusing to hear you speak like this. You know, I could have maintained my silence but I love you when you are in this form. I would not appreciate if you mope and brood but if you hurl even curses towards me, I would love it. By Jove I would.
I believe anger is a step better than is definitely not the best thing but certainly better than self-pity. 

I know what all you must have attempted lately, my perpetually confused Gypsy. And I know what all you must have thought-
1. Dig yourself a hole
2. Turn into a rat or even a worm
3. Hide in forever

If you call this a luxury, well you don't have it, you don't afford it.
If you call this a punishment, a penance, you have not committed enough crimes, grotesque crimes or both.
And therefore you don't deserve the hole. So when you don't hide in but swear and curse me- I know your are still good for me, your spirit is still alive. Your desires are still alive. You still want to rebel and flinch when someone or you yourself confines you, traps you.

My trapped in the norms and conventions Gypsy, do you know the first step to gypsy-hood? No....not wanderings. They come much later.
Should I ask you something? Where do you stand now ( okay if you are sitting or lying down then do please stand up.)? Why that worried look? I am not asking about your status, position, situation in life, your attitude towards everything, jobs, sabbaticals...nothing of those? But the basic. The simplest. Where are you standing now?

The Earth.

And how does it look like? ( At least on the surface.)
A circle. Solid. Endless. Absorbed. Still.......
You can go on.....but forget about the tremors, continuous movements in its core etc. The time for that is later.

For now keep thinking of the circle, the solid, the endless, the absorbed, the still.......
Don't confine your thoughts....let them move in any direction...let them choose.

And I will catch you soon....hold you soon....encircle you in my arms soon...whether you are the sweet girl I met or the swearing bitch. But are you ready to think? Think and believe that I am basically a soul and so are you. And we just have bodies.

We will make the best use of both. The soul and the body. And words will come....because they too seek beautiful souls and bodies. They have been there from the beginning and will be there till the end....but to thrive they need us....beautiful souls.
We will talk. And yes, I don't have an address. I never had. I reach to you only when I want to and only when you desire me to. This norm is still a constant. There are very few constants in my nomadic life and this is one.

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